UHNW and HNW WOMEN: GOT A MENTAL HEALTH HOSPITAL APPOINTMENT. THESE 15 ULTIMATE MUST HAVE ITEMS ARE ESSENTIAL
facets of you – UHNW WOMEN & MENTAL HEALTH
GOT A MENTAL HEALTH HOSPITAL APPOINTMENT?
THESE 15 ULTIMATE MUST HAVE ITEMS ARE ESSENTIAL
Join today’s conversation on why you as an UHNW or HNW Women are thinking about embarking on a survival hospital visit to help your mental health journey in life. Hopefully bringing about an improved you in the way that works best for you.
You are an affluent woman. You are shy or an introvert. Perhaps with low level autism. You live in an affluent home. You live an affluent lifestyle. You have weight fluctuations. You have dietary impulses. Yet for whatever reason you now want to be with people who accept you for you. Warts and all.
When you realise that as an affluent woman that you are being admitted to a mental health unit or hospital how do you still your mind, or bring clarity to your mind regarding this situation? What emotions do you go through as you embark upon your hospital stay? Particularly when you know that you carry the tag of having been diagnosed with a Bipolar Disorder condition. What things do you need for the duration of the hospital stay that are must haves for you?
During 2015 to 2016 in England & Wales the people admitted to mental health units reached 112,000. That is one in every 500 people. Or one in every five minutes.
Today; with permission from a client, I want to share with you the experiences of a HNW woman called Ruth who has agreed to open up and share her experiences on attending mental health hospitals. Ruth has been diagnosed with having Bipolar Disorder (BPD) and has been admitted on four occasions during the past 18 months to mental health units and hospitals. Even though the scheduling of a space for Ruth had been a hit and miss affair at times, when the time arrived to prepare for the visit she found it perplexing.
FIRST OF ALL WHAT DOES IT MEAN AND HOW DOES ONE FEEL TO BE DIAGNOSED WITH HAVING THE CONDITION BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Client: Ruth
Ruth: The closest that I can visualise this to you is to say that it is like being on a giant swing. One of those huge fairground swings. Being in one of those and being all by yourself. The velocity of the swing takes you to an absolute high. When you feel the momentum of an absolute high, you also have to be aware that you can easily feel an absolute low. The actuality of this is real.
With the momentum of this giant swing you can go from feeling infinitely high. A real happy all consuming high. Everything feels awesome. I have amazing ideas for new ventures. I get inspired by other women who have published books and I feel as though I can also do this. That perhaps I should put myself forward for certain committees and board positions knowing that I would easily get in and be a real voice for improvement on that board; especially with my money and contacts, I would be much better than most of the people currently sitting in those positions. I hate to say it but my ego would become quite overwhelmingly awful and I would start getting confrontational and at times aggressive in my nature. As I understand it, this state of involvement with the ‘highs’ of a Bipolar Disorder condition encompasses a package of feelings and responses that includes annoyance and fury for many people. It is something that requires re-addressing. A kind of reset. As does the swing to the other side. The side where the momentum is an absolute low. A low that drives you into an acute depression. This acute depression that hooks me and makes me believe that life is not worth living for. The ‘victim’ point of view where everything that goes wrong is because of someone else. Or something else. It is someone else making things go terrible for me, that nothing works out for me. Ever. The spiral down gets deeper and deeper into my psyche. Thoughts of suicide enter into my being when I am at this low ebb.
Believe me when I say that as I enter into one state of mind it is almost impossible to feel that my situation can differ. This feeling of absolute dejection is real. As is the feeling of absolute elation. After a period of time; and it varies with no consistency, I manage to take the steps to a place where I can receive further support and find some kind of even keel. A support network that you can turn to is important.
Which brings me to the preparation of a visit to a mental health unit or hospital. Running through my mind are all sorts of things, but I somehow manage to focus on what items shall make my stay comfortable. It all feels disconcerting. What is important is my comfort during the stay. So I am going to share with you what I take along with me so that I feel comfortable, safe, secure and not bored.
One other thing. A crucial thing for me. I purposefully do not create a space in my home where I store all the things that I would need for such a visit. I make a list of items then I go about looking for them, or I ask my housekeeper to sort it out for me.
WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT ATTEND THE MENTAL HEALTH HOSPITAL?
Client: Ruth
Ruth: I have discovered over time that these visits to a mental health hospital are best experienced with an open mind. So this is what I do. The operative word here is ‘try’. I try to keep an open mind when I have to visit a different hospital, or the same hospital. Each time is different as there are different people there each time. No two visits are exactly the same. The experiences are not as fraught as you believe them to be. The clients who attend the hospital are not so scary. They just need to be understood. So, guess what, they are ordinary people who happen to be going through a difficult time. Just as me! Just as you. That is it. Once you comprehend that, things become more intelligible.
SO TELL ME ABOUT THAT FIRST TIME THAT YOU WENT TO A MENTAL HEALTH UNIT OR HOSPITAL?
Client: Ruth
Ruth: The first time is always the most confrontational. You object to everything. You do not want to be there because you feel as though you are at the mercy of others. Other people have the control and you do not. You want your privacy back. You want your life back. You want the comfort of your own home and space around you. You do not want to be in the company of other ‘strange’ people. You are rich, you accomplished good things, you have an amazing lifestyle. You decide who you want to be with. Where you want to be with others; if anyone. When you want to share your time with others; if any. This is taken away from you. It strips you psychologically bare. You object to it. You really do. The whole situation feels surreal. Like a nightmare. It was as though I was looking in on this entire situation through a secret peep-hole. That I was on the outside looking in. The scary thing was that you could be at a mental health hospital for a set duration but this time could expand dependent upon your improvement or deterioration in order for you to get the help that you require. So you really had no clue as to how long you would be away for. One thing is for sure, you know that you do not want to stay indefinitely. I also found that I was swearing quite a bit to myself. I objected to situations and people at the mental health hospital so the conversation that I had with myself grew to contain much swearing. I did not want these people ‘taking care of...’ me. Only I knew how to take care of myself and with the people that I wanted around me.
SO WHAT WERE THE FIRST FEW DAYS IN HOSPITAL LIKE?
Client: Ruth
Ruth: You soon begin to come to terms with the fact that the staff at the mental health unit or hospital are there to take care of you. For the entire duration of your stay. They are human like anyone else and they also have their own life baggage. In the most part they are able to leave their home life at the gates or car park. Sometimes you can see the frustration in their faces or body language when dealing with a situation. Not very professional but it happens. They are not angels or saints. They are human. Once you see that, you treat that member of staff accordingly. You know instantly if you are going to get along with people. Staff and clients. So it follows that the initial few days into your ‘checking in’ at the mental health hospital is where you have to start adjusting to the new situation that you find yourself in. It can be challenging. All sorts of things go through your head. “I hope that no-one starts a conversation with me.” “I do not know what to say to these people, they are not the type of people that I usually associate with.” “Why am I here with these mad people!” Then the swearing conversations break loose in your head as you see various people walk by, you become judgemental. Or you become fearful. You switch from one to the other rapidly as you walk down the corridors, through the hallways, etc.. After the initial days, dependent on whom the clients are, you soon begin to realise that there are clients ‘just like me at this place’. You begin to acknowledge each other with a little smile or a nod. For example, you tend to read books or just sit in the garden near the vicinity of the clients that you ‘feel safe with’. Or they do the same with you. It is all non threatening. Yes, there are a handful of people who want attention and are talkative, so you have to learn to handle that also. All in all most people know the score and leave you alone to get on with things.
Getting back to the being taken care of by staff members, you soon feel things becoming easier once the trust has been established with them. The more that you like the help and support that they afford to you, the more that you begin to relax and let anxious things wash away from your mind. You begin to feel more contended in that environment. That is a good thing.
WERE THERE DISTURBING MOMENTS AT THE MENTAL HEALTH UNIT FOR YOU?
Client: Ruth
Ruth: Once you are admitted to a mental health unit, you have no say as to who can be there and receive treatment. You are allocated a room, given a programme of activities and receive support appointments. There are people who attend mental health units from a variety of adult ages, backgrounds and life experiences. I suppose the administration staff allocate rooms for people based upon the client’s level of support and other factors. This is my guess. You never know in advance who your neighbour is. On my last visit at a mental health unit there was a mature lady who was calling out for her baby at night in her sleep. It was disturbing to listen to as she had a still birth in her twenty’s. It really was most distressing to listen to. Heartbreaking actually. I felt so sorry for her. As I understood it, she married but never had any children.
TODAY, HOW DO YOU FEEL THAT YOU MANAGE YOUR BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Client: Ruth
Ruth: I have ‘checked in’ four times over 18 months and it was the culmination of not seeking appropriate help for decades that brought about the appointments. Thinking that I was invincible and could do it all on my own. In my own way. Nope. A delusion. My life was not in a balance or equilibrium that could sustain all that had been packed into it. Something had to give and give it did. My ‘management’ of things began to crumble and I resolved it by placing sticking plasters over the issues. Short term OK. Long term no good. I am building a network of trusted people that I can turn to to help me manage things. To assist me with solutions to life situations. Keeping me out of a life crisis and to help me with methods, techniques that can provide me with balance in my life, in order to keep my mental health hospital ‘check-in’s’ at a minimum.
That also signifies that I realise that ‘checking-in’ to a mental health unit is a part of my life. I have to bring myself to a realisation that brief moments there can benefit me, when I really need to be there. That means when a life situation becomes acute and truly unmanageable. But for now, as I said, I am building a network of trusted people that I can turn to to help me manage things. So that means I have to be careful with whom I let into this small circle of confidantes. Having an affluent life means that there are enough scoundrels out there who have more interest in your money than you as a person.
BEING A CELEBRITY, PERSONALITY OR RICH PERSONAL
Client: Ruth
Ruth: This is one aspect that I want to share with you. It is important. Do you remember the footage of Marilyn Munroe when she left a hospital? She was all alone and vulnerable. There were television cameras, photographers, reporters and all sorts waiting to pounce on her for a story. All prying eyes. Well, in a way that is what it feels like when you leave a mental health hospital. Even for someone like me who prefers not to be in the public eye, when you walk out of the place and you see people turn to look at you, or you see vehicles drive past you, you feel like that moment that Marilyn experienced. That everyone is looking at you and you just want to get away quickly. The more famous the place, the more of a chance that there is of a report or photographer waiting outside the building to snap someone. Mind you, with many people having mobile cameras, it feels that people are happily snapping away willy nilly. Taking a photo of you without your permission. Eroding your privacy. Is it paranoia? No. Just a reality of the way that society has become. How people have become intolerable, selfish and commercial at the expense of others. Especially towards people going through traumatic and vulnerable times.
SO WHAT IS THE BEST BIT IN YOUR VIEW ABOUT BEING AT A MENTAL HEALTH HOSPITAL?
Client: Ruth
Ruth: The last full day there. Sheer poetry for me. If there is a beauty treatment service, or a massage service, I take it. If there is not one there; as a way of courtesy by informing the staff of my intention, I go to a nearby spa or massage place. I pay for it myself. It is not just my mental health that requires attention, but also my physical self. Having a spa or aromatherapy service benefits me holistically. I am certain on this. I feel relaxed and cleansed.
GOT A MENTAL HEALTH HOSPITAL APPOINTMENT? THESE 15 ULTIMATE MUST HAVE ITEMS ARE ESSENTIAL.
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